I’ve died a thousand deaths,
All for a girl with no love left
Your silence speak louder than a thousand words,
We could write a novel using our hesitation
We’re afraid to make the first move, afraid to be someone’s replacement.
And we fantasize about somebody who can expose our weakness and embrace it as strengths of their own
But we embrace more the fact that we’ll more likely end up alone.
It’s a shame to say the least how society became to be
I’m a grown ass man I have no time for all these games b.
We make choices based on our emotions, keep the ball rolling in motion
Like a snowball effect the problem accumulates and when we try to stop the drama from growing it’s just hopeless.
Trying to think of all the good memories is overshadowed by the bad that’s all we focus on
Then we put the blame on our ex & say they’re the reason why they’re holding on
To painful memories, and it keeps them from having a healthy relationship
Because if you go out with them now you’re going out with their situationships.
I just think it sucks that now we pay for someone else’s mistakes,
It’s not our fault they lost out on the greatest opportunity to take
So we fight and we fight for a little honesty and faith
Until it’s all gone and I leave, for you to realize
Just a little too late.
I’m gonna have a crush on you,
Then I’ll like all your pictures.
I’m gonna do anything that’ll get your attention,
Anything that’ll give me the chance to be with you.
I’m gonna catch your attention, we’ll exchange numbers
We’ll exchange emojis just to keep a conversation from falling under.
Our conversations are gonna lead to phone calls,
Then we’ll make plans to meet up
Then we’ll be all shy around each other,
And eventually forget the lessons our past teach us.
Our conversations will begin from morning to night, night leading to day,
Day leading to the dim morning light from your text message whenever you say
"I Miss You"
I’m gonna miss her, then you’ll miss me
And I’ll feel like I kiss her, when you kiss me
And then I’ll diss you, but then I’ll miss you
Just as soon as you move on to another dude I’ll begin to wish I was still with you.
I’ll embrace the fact that you left,
Just another memory I’ll soon forget
Then I’ll go and say you’re just like the rest,
But regret the words I wish I could’ve gotten off of my chest..
I am a young teen, one dreams,
That he’ll find the beauty to his beast
Like a king without his queen
I am who I am,
Just a confused uncertain teen..
I never understood the point of paying for your education,
I find it ironic now looking back at the professors telling me to pay attention
Just like when someone calls me a dickhead and I have an erection,
Or when I’m thinking of my best friend’s exception.
I thought about how she’s so talented and cute
And how he’s so rude and he’s so brute
She lost her virginity to him, but she’s still fears being naked
That intimate skin to skin contact and emotions she’s afraid he’s just faking.
They broke up, she’s single
She’s alone while he mingles
He fucks and he fucks and she’s working her acting career and he just continues to fuck.
That’s my boy, she’s someone I never met or got close with
But still he’s someone she sees hope in
She’s like water being held in the palm of your hands,
Eventually she’ll slip through your fingers and into the heart of another man
I just wanna take the time, to say how much I appreciate ya
No I ain’t like them other guys, ill wait for you, I’ll wait for you
My heart skips in irregular beats
My feet walk bounce in my steps in these streets
Must be tired after running around in my mind for so long
You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting you to be mine for so long
We was young kids in high schools, fools in love we was the cool couple
Now we’re the only two trouble
Causing problem with anyone who gets in our way
Fuck what they gotta say babe live love forever always
Now take my pinky let me make a promise,
I’ll love you forever and i’ll forever stay honest
We used to curve all the rest we used to bounce to the same step
Driving benzes dreaming about the maybachs
And baby we used to sing the same tone,
Stay up all night on the phone singing the same song
We don’t do this anymore at all,
Staring at my phone waiting for you to call
You can’t see that I’m falling
And the last 6 messages are all me
We’ve dealt with emotions, we’ve felt stupid and hopeless
We felt like this for so long hoping it’ll work and we can have this happy ending
But I don’t want it to end, I want it to continue forever and forever
And I heard you have a child,
I’m sure she looks beautiful
If she looks anything like you then she’s gods miracle
I’m with you spiritual still feeling you I hope feelings is mutual
If I think of you a second from now is a future without you
It’s something I don’t want to, but it’s time I step aside
But if I have to wait forever, then forever I’ll ride
So enough of this fussing and crying, the music needs me
No longer am I Jesus I am the music prodigy
It’s been a year and some change, the tears dried I’m no longer the same
No longer am I tame no longer insane I know what Is needed for me, those who bled for me
Those who stepped for me when everyone just faked rep for me
Where the fuck are you now I was on my knees I’m on my own now
No longer alone now I sing my own tone now
This isn’t a duet, this isn’t we anymore
This is just Thursday aka I don’t need you anymore
This is what I had to say, I’m getting it off my chest
I’m getting better now I am no longer a mess
Seeing as though you moved on while I remained,
I still have these cold heart sinking feeling when I hear your name.
Feelings change and come back once in a while like the seasons
And every time you come back you seem to come back with a new reason,
Then you text me these long paragraphs that got a nigga like me cheesing
Even when I know this is all just a momentary feeling.
If you didn’t want a relationship, why lead me up to shit? Have me feeling like there would be an us and shit
So I bust through shit
Back and forth so you’d know I’ll be faithful to us, but shit..
I know, like a cold summer breeze at night on the beach
With my lips quivering from the slur of my speech
And the wheezing I get from all this smoke I started to breathe.
It’s wrong, truuuuuuue.
I remind myself to move on but I get excited with messages from you.
You can’t hear me, silence is my loudest cry
So when you now notice how I refuse to lie and reply to you then you’ll know why.
I’m doing fine without you, I even met a few girls along the way
But I refuse to bring them down to me just because I repeat the things I used to say,
To you, to them..
To them, I’m back to you.
Who’s him? Still attracted to you.
But her? Just jealous, they never met us I showed you off to other fellas my clothes began to get fresher my money began to get bigger my words began to expand and my mind began to ran the memories of what we had and I still wonder where we stand
I still remain in the state that I am because I won’t give up they don’t understand..
I do it all for you, harm my body in ways I never thought I would do.
Pinky promises for everything, I thought I could trust you
But I needed you then, but now? Fuck you..
I threw on my coat I start to choke and I’m,
hurting inside outside I won’t show cause
today I’m learning how to move on..
So I walk out the door with my heart in my,
sleeves I don’t want to leave you
but I gotta do what I gotta do..
We went, round for round
till we knocked love out
we were laying in the rain not making a sound
and if we were meant to be you and I
why do we gotta say Goodbye?
She said “look boy, I’m finna pack my bags and leave,
the only thing you commit to is your raps and beats”
I scream fuck it I don’t care you leave you’ll just be considered as the rest of em
not the best of em, never had to be stressin them
I mean I know I don’t mean it but words come around though
should’ve seen my words mixed up like Steve Nash and Rondo..
It’s hard though,
I hide whatever hurts me, you say nigga you don’t deserve me
Your tears stained my t shirt and I’m still screaming “you don’t concern me”
I mean looks deceive, crooks and thieves
I’m only shook because you still stood right next to me
Stayed by my side, even when it seem to all fall apart
I only wish I had seen this coming from the start
It’s coming from the heart..
the woman I love is the only women I can never get to..
Call me Mr Missed Opportunity man I’m a living breathing Sin man
It should be illegal for me to even exist man
like, “Who the hell he think he is calling himself a week day”
I’m a rapping faggot singing about what all the so called weak say
It’s not you and I anymore it’s Us,
Missing what we had I should’ve never fell in love
should’ve never fell, wish I never saw the truth
Now I’m screaming at the top of my lungs fuck you
Fuck you and fuck what we had, wish I’d take it all back
now we’re pushing and shoving regretting the past
now I’m finally moving on throwing what we had in the trash
Only thing left is the pain in my back
Pain from the shame of the weight of you behind me
I was honest from the start why the fuck you lied to me?
Was I the second guy or the nigga you were hiding me?
Get back fuck? No stop begging and cryimg to me
Not even worth an eye to me, cause what I see hurts more
From what I saw staring into your eyes was just your lies & your tears drip with poison
Theres trouble in the horizon , is there any saving us? No, just act like nothing happened..