Seeing as though you moved on while I remained,
I still have these cold heart sinking feeling when I hear your name.
Feelings change and come back once in a while like the seasons
And every time you come back you seem to come back with a new reason,
Then you text me these long paragraphs that got a nigga like me cheesing
Even when I know this is all just a momentary feeling.
If you didn’t want a relationship, why lead me up to shit? Have me feeling like there would be an us and shit
So I bust through shit
Back and forth so you’d know I’ll be faithful to us, but shit..
I know, like a cold summer breeze at night on the beach
With my lips quivering from the slur of my speech
And the wheezing I get from all this smoke I started to breathe.
It’s wrong, truuuuuuue.
I remind myself to move on but I get excited with messages from you.
You can’t hear me, silence is my loudest cry
So when you now notice how I refuse to lie and reply to you then you’ll know why.
I’m doing fine without you, I even met a few girls along the way
But I refuse to bring them down to me just because I repeat the things I used to say,
To you, to them..
To them, I’m back to you.
Who’s him? Still attracted to you.
But her? Just jealous, they never met us I showed you off to other fellas my clothes began to get fresher my money began to get bigger my words began to expand and my mind began to ran the memories of what we had and I still wonder where we stand
I still remain in the state that I am because I won’t give up they don’t understand..
I do it all for you, harm my body in ways I never thought I would do.
Pinky promises for everything, I thought I could trust you
But I needed you then, but now? Fuck you..
I threw on my coat I start to choke and I’m,
hurting inside outside I won’t show cause
today I’m learning how to move on..
So I walk out the door with my heart in my,
sleeves I don’t want to leave you
but I gotta do what I gotta do..
We went, round for round
till we knocked love out
we were laying in the rain not making a sound
and if we were meant to be you and I
why do we gotta say Goodbye?
She said “look boy, I’m finna pack my bags and leave,
the only thing you commit to is your raps and beats”
I scream fuck it I don’t care you leave you’ll just be considered as the rest of em
not the best of em, never had to be stressin them
I mean I know I don’t mean it but words come around though
should’ve seen my words mixed up like Steve Nash and Rondo..
It’s hard though,
I hide whatever hurts me, you say nigga you don’t deserve me
Your tears stained my t shirt and I’m still screaming “you don’t concern me”
I mean looks deceive, crooks and thieves
I’m only shook because you still stood right next to me
Stayed by my side, even when it seem to all fall apart
I only wish I had seen this coming from the start
It’s coming from the heart..
the woman I love is the only women I can never get to..
Call me Mr Missed Opportunity man I’m a living breathing Sin man
It should be illegal for me to even exist man
like, “Who the hell he think he is calling himself a week day”
I’m a rapping faggot singing about what all the so called weak say
It’s not you and I anymore it’s Us,
Missing what we had I should’ve never fell in love
should’ve never fell, wish I never saw the truth
Now I’m screaming at the top of my lungs fuck you
Fuck you and fuck what we had, wish I’d take it all back
now we’re pushing and shoving regretting the past
now I’m finally moving on throwing what we had in the trash
Only thing left is the pain in my back
Pain from the shame of the weight of you behind me
I was honest from the start why the fuck you lied to me?
Was I the second guy or the nigga you were hiding me?
Get back fuck? No stop begging and cryimg to me
Not even worth an eye to me, cause what I see hurts more
From what I saw staring into your eyes was just your lies & your tears drip with poison
Theres trouble in the horizon , is there any saving us? No, just act like nothing happened..
So why start to get offensive when I start to get defensive?
I’m protecting what’s mine before you end it,
How many niggas have you been with?
Just like when was the last time I said I love you and meant it.
Okay it’s my fault yeah right APPARENTLY
Just like the dudes you fucked with weren’t boring barely.
I’m a jerk and he’s a douche and we both laughed like we were doomed
cause the end was coming soon before the bang hit the boom
Still carry the taste of her lips on me, chapstick
Like the color of her skin after the things we used to did
and I’m sorry if the words I seem to say were the feelings
I should’ve showed,
and with every heart beat reminds me of the seconds I wasted just kisses from the past carries over with every wind blow.
We grabbed a hold of each other and I guess we just clicked like a mouse
and it led us to realize what we truly were about.
We were nothing more than just a fire burnt out
and just a faded flame of the memories we should’ve never thrown out.
You know I can’t think straight, problem with thinking is that it leads to over thinking,
Like the more I think its fate the more I realize its fake.
I mean can you just think about it? I know its getting late but tell me how you feel stop trying to hide it.
I realize who I’ve become and probably I’m someone I’m proud of
because I realize now that I know what I want now but these bitches are still stuck on someone they wanted now.
True, I mean it’s easy to say I was never there
just like I know you care the most when you say I don’t fucking care.
I just spoke to moms not too long ago,
she told me how she misses how my Dad used to be.
So I tell her don’t be so quick to let go
even when his soul is nowhere near close to me.
Caught her crying one day by herself
and it made me realize how money is everything
Niggas tell me whats more important the health or the wealth
or the fact that I’m killing myself just to grab a piece feel me?
Problem is, you don’t feel me.
Sometimes I hate myself and it kills me.
I’m dying… Sometimes theres no need for surviving when it feels like everythings
a lie so when the fuck am I gonna wake up and be alive?
I felt like I was alive when I was with this girl,
Beautiful lips matching the movements of her hips and how the curves matches the curls on her hair
but I guess beauty is pain because I’m still hurt probably some shit I don’t deserve.
Looking at life through a cup half way full or half way empty,
seeing how I haven’t lived life yet makes everything so tempting.
Sure I’ll probably smoke my high, drink my drink,
fuck this bitch think nigga THINK
Why you gotta over think? It’s hard I know when everythings against you
so I fight my way into something I know I’ll regret too
and now I’m not caring with my “Fuck you forget you.”
But then I’ll just wish I never met you..
Still I remember way back, before wearing a book bag meant you stay strapped
busy running through blocks usian bolt running laps
during the times people doubted me saying I was wack.
Now I’m Thursday and these bitches are thirsty
because now a kid cut his hair and popularity is the first thing,
they care of.
Now society have girls ready to fight always with their hair ups
and the guys wanting to stay up with their babies and their smacked up
and they lay up in niggas beds and then regret it all when they should’ve backed up.
I wish I had the answers for me written on my palms,
And it’s like your lips were my favorite lip balm
and it’s hard for me to stay strong, now all thats left is for me to just be…calm.
Ever missed someone who doesn’t miss you?
Ever wanted to kiss someone who doesn’t wanna kiss you?
Maybe you ever had the feeling of wanting to text him or her
But you don’t wanna seem obsessed especially when all I think about is her.
See it sucks because I want her bad, but I’m still waiting on her text
and yeah I know she’s in love but she’s in love with her ex
Now I’m sitting here writing rhymes because all I ever do lately
and lately all I care about is missing my baby..
Last thing I heard from her was that she dedicated to me a song,
It was by Usher but I brushed it off like *scoff* bitch you are so wrong.
Fuck it look like you dedicate something to me and act like I’ll still care
when I’m still waiting on my first chance while you stuck on a nigga that wasn’t there..
But I was.. And it’s hurts too.
So I’m single, it’s part two.
I’m done crying, yeah it’s hard boo
Dying and whining about why you never stay and why I’m begging you not to leave
FUCK YOU for making me feel this way it’s spreading through my like a disease
I wish I could sleep the pain off and never wake up again
Because at least in my dreams I don’t feel nothing..
Cali, seriously you want me to rap? I don’t rap bro aha.. But Okay.
Hi pass that Big Can with the name of 4 Loko
Just needed a drink before I needed to go home,
I drink it down so it burns my throat
So I can swallow my pride as I go
Okay so maybe I rap like a white guy
Date two bad chicks at the same time
But at the same time I make rhymes about heart breaks
Cause I date fakes but even though I call it quits
You just come back and start a fit FUCK.
I apologize for any inconvenience
If my words come out to become a little bit disobedient
But the argument is that nigga I’m the realest here
I’m going hard like the pocket her hand fillin in
Can we get a little standing ovation for these hatin
ass swagger kids recycling their fashion trends?
Dressing up like urkel yet I’m the push over
Nigga only weight you push over is when you grab your bitch off my shoulders!
Ha… Dude don’t get mad at me like seriously? She likes me..
She likes the way I rap about the things she can relate to
like all the things I say really reminds her why she hates you
Cause first of all, your money low
and my money tall like my cholesterol
Cause I get cheese and you get bread
but your bread mold and my cheese spread - CHEESE WIZ
Whaaaaaaat? Yeah.. Cali man I’m starting to get hungry now haa.
First one to run out when the guns start blazin
But you keep poppin like you gon` do somethin
Moves to real nigga I could make your bitch hips fall
but when you comin at me at gunpoint your fucking clips fall
Cause you shook I guess you would be scared of me boy you should
Man I told you I was a problem no math wiz could even solve.
I’m tearing at your heart wound time to bring out the salt
Cause the truth burns into your soul imprint my initials
cause I initially started from the heart before these bitches break it into twos
See because the road you walk on is dark and eery
but I don’t give a fuck because only the strongest survive like Darwin’s Theory
But is knock knock is anybody listening truth always comes out but no one cares about what your opinion is
Cause the truth fall on deaf ears and innocence of my dead peers
You say you from the hood nigga I am hood I still fucking live here.
Feels like cupid shot me down with an arrow/
& this feelings seems familiar
But right now I’m fighting with the shadows/
All the memories we kept, all the women that I slept with/
All the time in the world but you’d the one I’d get with/
If you have to leave me then fine/
Just know that before you were his you were mine/
She’s like why you even trippin` you not even mine/
But if leaving me makes you happy shit.. fine/
Just know that I’m honest girl I can’t like I miss you/
But feelings aint mutual so I guess I’ll keep on missing you/
Alcohol and depression is one hell of a mixture/
Sober thoughts speak a broken heart its the perfect Elixer/
Paint a perfect picture of us in the future/
I think I’ve fallen for sure matter of fact just wit cha/
Take a shot for me, not just one or two/
But a million to make sure this will shit will be just me and you/
Yeah I promse to keep the bed the same way you left me in/
I swear these walls rewind memories and I keep thinking you coming in/
I keep wondering if you meant that this was forever/
If this was forever why arent we together?/
And if time heals all and all heals with time/
Broken hearts would mend & it would just be you and I/
Yeah I can pretend I’m fine, pretend like its Halloween/
Some say it takes forever to fall in love, I fell for you at 17./